Never Let Go
by Noxid Anamchara
Summary: It happened in a flash. One minute they were safe, discussing how they were going to take down the Governor. And then next, she was gone. Taken. Lost. And he felt like somebody had torn him apart. He didn't know what to do, where to go, how to think. All he knew was that she had to be safe. That he had to get her back. Maryl.
1. Brave

**Nox:** This is a sequel. If you didn't read my story Promise (which is so worth the read, and prompted by the lovely and talented _letmefallasleep_) certain context, hell the whole story won't make sense. So be a doll and go read that one first, kay? You remember how much I love you all? Well, here's a follow up story to Promise, because I simply couldn't back down from those Promo Teasers. And this one, though it's going to be Maryl (because I _made _them), will undoubtedly become _Caryl_. I have plans for our kits.

**Disclaimer**: The Walking Dead belongs to Kirkman and AMC.

**Warning: **Merle is a racist asshole – I don't apologize nor will I change him.

* * *

Brave

"Now darlin'," he said, all sweet and sugary, and she felt her skin scrawl. She remembered the way Maggie had talked about him, about what he'd _done_ to her. She didn't put nothing past him. She wrapped her arms around herself, curling inward. She wished _he _were here, but knew she needed to be strong.

"Seems to me you're worth more than I thought." The smirk on his face made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

And only one word kept screaming through her head.

_Bait._

"I won't let you use me to get to him." She wanted to sound brave, had meant to. But even she could hear the hesitation in her own voice. The smile never left his face, and she could hear the others in the small contained room laughing at her.

"Besides," she said, gripping her legs until they began to ache, "he won't come for me. He's not _stupid_. He'll see right through you."

She jolted when his hands slammed onto the table, a knife gripped tight in one, sending her heart into her throat. His one eye, the other covered by a black patch, darkened.

"Oh, he'll fuckin' come sweetheart. He'll come, or I'll cut out those pretty blue eyes a yours and send'em back to him, wrapped in a box, with a fuckin' bow."

And she felt the smallest inkling of doubt shoot through her.

* * *

_3 Days Earlier…_

"Are you sure you don't want me to take a look at that?" He was nursing his bruised face, licking at his swollen lip. She could see that he was still shaking, whether from rage or adrenaline, she wasn't sure. She was also certain he had several fist-sized bruises popping up all over his chest. She knew his body had to ache.

"I _said_ I was fine, dammit. Don't ya know how ta listen?" He glared at her, the effect ruined by his blackening, swollen eye. She started to reach out, to touch his face, when he batted her hand away.

"Fuckin' touch me!" He stood abruptly, takin' a few steps away from her. "Hell were you 'n ma brother talkin' bout anyway?" She watched Daryl's face morph from concern to anger the longer her silence stretched. She twisted her hands together, and dropped her head.

Did she tell him? It didn't really seem right to talk about Merle's request to Daryl when it was _about _Daryl. She'd made a promise after all, to look after him.

And she would make good on that, to the best of her ability.

"Hell woman, it's a simple fuckin' question. How bout a simple fuckin' answer?" He sat down again, cradling his side.

She hesitated a moment before deciding she couldn't keep anything from Daryl.

"He…" Daryl leaned forward, his brows furrowing intent on her answer. "He made me promise him."

And Daryl just about exploded. He jumped up, staggered a bit and winced, but didn't let that falter him.

"The fuck did he say?" He took a threatening step toward her, but she didn't really take it to heart. She could see in his eyes that he was nervous, still feeling the rush of the fight with Merle, still on edge. He wasn't letting her finish and he was jumping to conclusions, fast.

She took another moment to answer, to gather herself. She knew what she was going to say, would upset him.

"The fuck did you _promise _him!" She leaned back, his voice echoing around them in the prison. Everyone would have heard that.

"Daryl…" she stayed still, kept her hands in her lap. She knew from past experience that trying to coax him back, as if he were a frightened animal, had only had the reverse reaction.

He started to pace.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill'im." He turned to leave, his leg quivering from exhaustion, but she knew mostly from Merle beating on him.

She grabbed him by the arm, feeling his muscles tense up beneath her grip.

"Daryl, please don't." He whirled on her, his lip curled up.

"An' why the hell not?" He glanced down at her hand, still on his arm. She didn't pull it away.

"Because…" she searched for the right words to tell him, how to make it easier. But none of this was going to be easy. She knew he was just going to take it hard, as if Merle didn't think he could take care of himself.

"Because I agreed to it alright?" She didn't let her gaze falter, because he needed to know that it was something she was okay with.

"He _asked _me. Didn't force," she said softly. But Daryl's gaze never lost that fury, and he still looked like he wanted to rip Merle's throat out, _again_.

"I wouldn't agree to nothing unless I was okay with it. You know that." But he didn't look so sure.

And maybe, he wasn't. Maybe when it came to Merle, things weren't so easy.

He stared at her, hard, his face full of confusion, and anger, and hatred. And then he turned again, she letting him go this time. She knew that sometimes, she just had to let him vent out his anger.

"I'm still gonna fuckin' kill him," he muttered and he walked off, shoulders hunched, looking more defeated than he had when he came back from Woodbury.

She sighed, feeling more exhausted than ever, and slumped into a chair.

She didn't like not revealing the nature of Merle's promise to Daryl, but at the same time she was almost certain that Daryl would have been just as pissed about it.

It was a double-edged sword. She wasn't going to win either way. And now, she'd already avoided telling him _exactly_ what it was.

"It's basically lying," she uttered under her breath.

"A lie's a lie." She jerked her head up, catching Michonne's eyes. She looked at her with those razor-sharp slits, and her hard-edged body. "No matter what." Michonne stood there, still as stone.

Carol still wasn't sure what to make of the woman, but didn't feel any _threat _from her, and that was just about good enough for her. These days, anyone who could protect the group with a giant sword, was one hell of a person. And she figured she would have to accept that.

"I…I don't know," she said, unsure. Michonne took a step forward, hand on the hilt of that sword – katana. That was what she had called it. _Katana_.

"You either know, or you don't." She was sure that _Michonne _was sure of just about anything. She could see it in her eyes, the way they calculated everything around her. The woman knew what she wanted, and she knew how she would make it happen.

She sighed and rubbed at her face, and bent over to clean up the things that had scattered in the fight.

"Is there something I can help you with Michonne, or did you just come to chat?" She hadn't meant to sound clipped or rude, but that's how it must have come out.

"I came here," she enunciated, and Carol looked up, stopping what she doing, "to see if you were okay." Michonne stood ramrod straight, her braids hanging around her shoulders, and she looked lethal.

But there was a way that she hovered over Carol, a way that she kept glancing out the prison cell as if she were looking for somebody.

Carol knew then that Michonne had come to check up on her.

_Michonne_.

"I'm fine, thank you." She waited, and still the black woman stood there, so imposing.

Why hadn't someone _else_ come to check on her? Like Beth, or Carl, or maybe Maggie?

And Michonne, being as perceptive as ever, seemed to sense what she was thinking. "I came because the others are too preoccupied with the _hick_." Her lip curled up in disgust, her face morphing with it. Such a small facial gesture and yet, it consumed hers. Carol was fascinated.

"What do mean? Do you mean Daryl…" Michonne shook her head, and turned at an angle.

"I _mean_ that pig he calls brother." Carol dropped the things she was carrying and bolted out of the cell and latched onto the railing, looking out over the edge.

She couldn't believe she didn't know what was going on.

Merle stood toe-to-toe with Rick, the tension apparent on everyone. She could just make out Daryl at the top of the stairs, watching Merle like a hawk. He looked like he was ready to dive on them if things got heated.

But _who_ he would protect, Carol wasn't sure.

"And I says if ya go there, ya might as well cut off ya arms coz ya just handin' yaselves to the Governor." The newest editions to their group stood outside the prison block door, peering in with curious eyes. She made her way down the tread, feet clanging on the metal. But for as loud as she was, no one seemed to notice because all eyes were on Rick and Merle. She felt Michonne following at her back.

"And if we don't want to?" Rick had that look on his face, the one where he already had his mind made up but he was just testing the waters.

"Then ya in fer a world a fuckin' trouble _Officer Friendly_." She could tell by the look on Merle's face that he was pissed about where the conversation had gone, and knew that Rick was just playing along for his benefit. She wished she could tell Rick to back off, but knew that interrupting would just make things worse.

"Ain't no more officers here, _Merle_." Merle's smile oozed hatred, and there was so much vengeance in his eyes, Carol was surprised that a fight hadn't broken out yet. She'd made it to the stairs, passing Daryl, who avoided looking at her face. She went down, and stood next to Beth and Hershel, who were leaning against the wall.

"Well then _Rick _fuckin'_ Grimes,_" he said with so much vehemence, Carol felt her skin crawl, "ain't that just my lucky day." She watched his body coil and knew things were about to get ugly.

"Merle-" Daryl yelled from behind her, but it didn't matter.

Merle lunged at Rick and he reciprocated.

Carol suspected that Merle was just looking to take out his anger on somebody, since he didn't get to do it on Daryl.

Which broke her heart to think about. She didn't want Daryl and Merle to fight, not when things were so ugly and at any moment, one of them could die. She knew it was a lot to ask, for them to be _nice_ to each other. But she couldn't deny that that was what she wanted.

She _was _surprised that nobody stopped them.

Rick may have been small, but he compensated well for it. While Merle may have been big, and packed a heavy punch, he was also slower than Rick. Where Merle hit once, Rick hit three times.

But Merle did have the advantage of his metal arm, and _that_ was taking its toll on Rick.

"Someone should stop them," Michonne said from behind her. She hadn't even realized the woman was still with her.

"Merle, that's enough!" Glenn stepped forward, calling out, but seemed unsure of what to do all the same. He even looked a little afraid of stepping into the middle of the fight.

"Rick, you need to end this now!" Hershel's voice echoed from behind, and Carol wasn't sure what he meant by that.

"Fuck you mean ol' man?" Seemed like Daryl had taken it that way as well.

"Merle, knock it off!" Daryl hobbled past her, heading for Merle. He didn't look good, limping his way over there. He was going to get knocked on his ass if he got in the middle of that.

And he did, just as he laid his hand on Merle's arm. Merle reached back with a swing of his metal arm and slammed it right across Daryl's shoulder, sending him into the ground.

"Fuckin' _git_ Daryl!" And Carol, she felt her mind go blank as she watched Daryl fall to the ground, his face twisting in pain.

"Merle Dixon!" She didn't know when she'd done it or how it happened, but she was standing over them all, and screaming at the top of her lungs. The room had gone silent, everyone's eyes on her.

She reached down, and gave Daryl a hand. He protested, but she was so angry at what had happened that she snapped at him too. "Stop it and take my hand." He didn't like it, she could tell, but he did as was told anyhow.

She made sure he was close, so that if he needed to, he could lean against her.

And while this all happened, no one moved. Not even Merle and Rick, who were lying on the ground, still, Rick beneath Merle.

"Get the hell offa him Merle." Merle's face twisted up into a snarl, and she felt Daryl grip her arm tight. "Carol," he whispered but she ignored it.

"I _said_," she forced through her teeth, the anger rising up in her now. Who the hell were they to sit there and fight like a bunch of wild apes who didn't have the common sense of man.

"Get off of him." And he sat there on Rick, glaring murder at her. "Before somebody shoots you."

"Wouldn't be such a bad idea." Everyone turned to look at Michonne, and she merely raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck you nigg-" She reached out to grab his shoulder, effectively stopping him from finishing his sentence. She could already feel the tension dripping off of Michonne. She gripped him hard, making him look at her, instead of anyone else. She jerked her head, in Carl's direction.

And there he stood off to her right, gun pointed directly at Merle's head.

And Merle took a moment to process this, looking around at each of the faces that were staring only at him.

And then he rose to his feet, blood and sweat dripping from his face, and looked down on her, all six feet of him, daunting and lethal, _pissed off_. She felt Daryl lean in close, and that gesture alone made her feel safe, _protected_.

Made her feel _brave_.

"Jus' coz I asked yous somethin'," he breathed, leaning close, "don't mean you got nothin' over me. _Bitch_." She waited till she felt calm enough to speak.

"I think you should take a walk." His eyes flickered, confusion flashing briefly. But he looked around, at the faces peering back at him, and then he studied her once, up and down.

"Fuck you," he spat and stomped over to the prison block door.

He kicked it, hard, the clang of the metal echoing loudly around them. "Ya'll don't want me in here, then open this fuckin' door!"

Carol watched Carl approach the door with some trepidation.

"What the hell ya waitin' fer boy? Open the fuckin' door!" She could tell that Carl's hesitation was out of curiosity. Merle was like a rabid animal, foaming at the mouth. But there was this instinct you had to try and help it even if it tried to bite you. At least, that's how she felt.

She strode forward and took the keys gently from Carl.

"Finally," he snapped. "Is the mouse the only one a ya who's got the balls to take on ol' Merle?" He chuckled, looking around mockingly.

She pushed the door open, let it swing wide.

He thrust his face in hers, and she just barely stopped herself from flinching. She could already feel herself leaning back, his proximity alarming; bringing back the fresh memory of their earlier encounter. But she knew she couldn't let him intimidate her. She'd already done that once, and it had caused trouble for both her _and _Daryl.

"Have a nice walk," she said sweetly, a smile working up the corners of her lips.

His face twisted in a snarl, but he did nothing. Just turned on his heel and stormed out.

* * *

**Reviews for the Muse.**

**A/N: **So, it's a little different, but I promise. It will be grand.

Isn't it always?


	2. Dangerous

**EM: **So I pretty much love you all. Sometimes I wonder if it really is good, and then you all show up, and prove me otherwise. And I've found that I love writing Carol and Merle, just as much as I love writing Caryl. [Gasp!]

**Dedication: **See first chapter.

**Disclaimer: **The Walking Dead belongs to Kirkman and AMC.

* * *

Dangerous

"If you don't let me go in there, I'll fuckin' shoot my way in, without _nobody's _say-so." Rick studied his friend, the nervous way he licked his lip, the hard grip to his constant crossbow, the shifting of his feet.

"Daryl," he said patiently, trying to keep his voice calm and even. "I need to deal with this. _Myself_." Daryl's face shifted to anger.

"Fuck you mean _yurself_? I'm goin' with ya!" Rick put his hands up, shushing him. They were too close to the barrier, to close to walkers, and at any moment they could be _heard_.

Daryl didn't take that to well. "Daryl, this is a man who makes deals like a politician. He's a snake. He's _smart_-"

Daryl snarled. "You tryin' ta say I ain't smart?" Rick shook his head, trying to save what he'd ultimately destroyed. He needed Daryl to infiltrate Woodbury. But he knew _he _had to be the one to confront the Governor. Regardless of _who_ he had.

"No Daryl. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm _saying_ is that I need you out here, taking care of the men protecting the gate, the ones who'll be coming after me once I get to him. I need you to lead those out here."

Daryl seemed to contemplate this, but he still had that look. The look of lost hope, the one where he _needed_ to save her. He could recognize that look. He knew that feeling. He'd felt it so many times when he knew Lori or Carl had been in danger.

When the ones you _love_ are beyond your reach.

He gripped Daryl's shoulder, and squeezed, hoping to give the hunter some comfort. "We'll find her Daryl. We'll find her."

* * *

_2 Days Earlier…_

He couldn't fuckin' believe the Mouse had stood balls to balls with him like that. Tellin' him to git, ta take a walk like he needed some goddamn air.

Course, once he'd gotten outside, even the stink of the ass-nasty walkers didn't stop him from feelin' better. Didn't stop him from takin' another walk _again_ today.

"Damn Mouse," he muttered. He walked along the fence, running his hand along the metal links. Tempting the walkers.

"Tha's right mothafuckers," he spat, smilin' ear to ear. "Can't git Merle now, can ya?" He shook the metal fence hard, rattlin' the links. He laughed like a kid, as if he didn't have no worries, as if he hadn't just tousled with Rick the day before.

Rick fuckin' Grimes. Just like his brother to go and get himself mixed up in some goddamn _family_ shit.

Couldn't stick to hisself like he normally did. Couldn't find a group of military men like _he_ did. Couldn't even find some fucked up douchebags who woulda just kept his brother alive and wouldn'ta bothered with all this _caring_ bullshit. At least he'd a known how ta handle douchebags.

He'd a killed them on the spot. Nobody woulda cared. Least of all Daryl.

But now, with all this huggin' and lovin' and pansy-ass bullcrap that Daryl had gone and gotten himself snagged into, he sure as hell didn't know what to do 'bout that.

"Fuck," he said to the bitch, scrabbling to gnaw off his arm. "You's one ugly bitch," he muttered, lip curling at the chunk missing from its scalp, the eye dangling from its socket, and the ear it didn't have. Dried blood coated every hole on its face, dirt coatin' it.

"Fuck am I 'sposed ta do?" He pulled on the walker's hair, dragging it closer, the skin starting to pull away from the scalp. Other walkers came close, their attention caught. He slammed its head into the fence, and then caught it round the jaw. It snarled loudly now, groaning and gurgling.

"Baby brother's gone 'n got hisself a fuckin' family," he said hatefully, "got hisself a _woman_." Merle looked down at the ground, then at his metal arm, the sun glinting off it. He fuckin' _hated _his arm. Hated how he _got _the mother fuckin' thing.

"Even _I_ knows once ya got a woman shit changes." The walker kept snarlin' and gnashin', fingers lookin' for purchase between the metal links.

He went in close, the smell of the walker washin' over him. Weren't nothin' new though. He'd smelled worse in his life, back before the world had gone ta shit.

Walkers smelled just like dead corpses, only its stink were stronger coz they walked around, wavin' it all over the place.

He was used to that.

"Can't ask Daryl to give up the woman," he said, furiously. He gripped the walkers jaw tighter, causing the decayed bones and flesh to break and split.

"The Mouse means a lot to ma brother," he said real soft. And that was problem. He coulda asked Daryl to leave the rest of them assholes. He may a liked'em enough, but he weren't that attached. But it was the Mouse_._ There was somethin' bout her that his baby brother just couldn't let go.

He watched as the jaw slowly detached from the walker, his forearm strainin' against the action, its hands still desperately trying to reach him.

"Even _if _he can't admit ta that." He ripped the jaw from the walkers face, and watched it fall to the ground.

He turned to the scuffle of feet, and watched the Mouse, _Carol_, turn her back on him and start walkin' back up to the prison.

"Hell you want?" he called, feelin' like she'd sat there and watched him, listened in on his damn thoughts. Fuck, he knew nobody could do that, but it still felt like she'd been spyin' on him.

"You comin' Merle?" There was a moment of silence before she heard his feet tramping behind her.

"Fuckin' wait up Mouse." She smiled a little. She didn't want to go back inside, but after watching Merle's disgusting display of disembodying the walker, she wasn't sure she wanted to be out there either.

Being inside was stifling. Especially because all the talk for the past day and night had been about infiltrating Woodbury and killing the Governor.

_Killing _the_ Governor._

_Killing._

She couldn't get her head around it. They would be going into people's homes, into a place they considered safe, and taking their lives.

She wasn't naïve to what he'd done to Maggie and Glenn, and to both Daryl and Merle. But did that excuse what they were about to do? Did that make it right for them to go and do the same things to people who were probably innocent?

It wasn't right, but at the same time she didn't want the same thing to happen to her family either. She was conflicted. And so she left, leaving Rick, Glenn, Hershel, and Daryl to argue it out. Merle had been a part of it for a bit, but he'd stormed out once it became apparent that they weren't going to consider his opinion.

"_If I's told ya once, I'll tell ya a fuckin' gain. Ya ain't gettin' in there without a fuckin' fight." Merle crossed his arms over his chest and squared his feet. _

_Daryl stood off to the side, leaning against a pillar for support. _

"_But if we don't strike now, while we have the manpower, or the element of surprise, then we have nothing." Glenn seemed eager to be a part of the invading side. He wanted the Governor to die. _

_That worried Carol, just a little. _

"_Manpower?" Merle scoffed, looking around. "You got fuckin' _women_. And _kids_. And don't count on no surprise. Nothin' gets the Governor." Maggie stepped forward, thrusting her chest out to join the fray. _

"_We can handle ourselves, you stupid, worthless-" Rick stretched out his arm, silencing her. "Better control your bitch," Merle said, low and dangerous. Glenn pulled her back by the arm, and held her close. She looked angry and upset. Carol didn't blame her, but at the same time, things were much more complicated than that. _

_Because Merle was _right_. They had women, and children. And the Governor had an army of men, who had experience with automatic weapons. _

"_We ain't got time for this shit," Rick said heatedly, approaching Merle swiftly. _

"_If we've got _anything_, anything at all to take him out, then we need to do it." Merle kept his arms crossed, but she could see his veins bulging. She was surprised by his control this time. _

"_Fine!" He yelled, tossing up his arms. "Go fuckin' git yurselves killed. See if I fuckin' care," and he stomped off into the prison, past Tyreese's group. "Niggers," he spat, shoving through them. She watched as Sasha spit out a few curses of her own, Allen holding her back. _

_Tyreese. They'd come to learn that he was _different_. That he was willing to fight for them. She could see in his eyes that he was an honest man, willing to fight for those who needed it, to do what needed to be done to _survive._ She thought he was much like Rick. _

_And she could tell, that his willingness to work with them, hit off well with Rick as well. _

_Tyreese stepped forward. "Rick," he called, not quite entering the cell block. He still kept his people out, even though he and Rick had made a temporary compromise that they could enter when they'd like. _

_Rick went over and Carol could barely hear what they were saying, so she inched closer. "If it means protecting this place, protecting my people," and she saw it again, the _honor _in his eyes, "then we'll fight with you." _

_Rick studied him for a moment and he nodded. "Thanks," he said and clasped him on the arm. _

_Tyreese was an honorable man. A good man. She could see that, in the way he treated the ones who came with him, in the way he tried to respect her groups wishes. _

"_What do you think we should do?" She turned to find Carl, standing beside her, watching his father. He was starting to turn into a young man, a young Rick. He would be a good leader, when the time came. _

_She hated that that thought just ran through her head. _

"_Rick makes a good point," she said thoughtfully, "but Merle's right too. We can't just go in, guns blazing. We don't have the same numbers that the Governor does, and we certainly don't have the power." Carl watched her a moment, and then nodded, slowly. _

"_I think so too," he said, hesitantly. "But I don't know how to tell dad that." _

_She smiled and then wrapped an arm around him lightly. _

"_Maybe you should try telling him to speak softly, and to carry a big stick when he confronts the Governor." Carl looked at her, his face scrunched up. She laughed. _

"_Lord, but you need some schooling." And this time he looked like he was about to run away. Schooling had steadily become the last thing any of the kids had wanted. _Especially_ Carl. "Teddy Roosevelt," she said, still laughing. "Try telling Rick that. Maybe he'll have the same reaction you did." He smiled. _

"_Thanks Carol," and strode off for his dad. She watched him go, feeling a little proud of him. _

_Where her eyes landed on Daryl who was watching her intently. _

_And then suddenly it was like the walls were closing in on her, and she had to go. Had to get some fresh air. _

And now she was outside, where she'd seen Merle crushing a walkers jaw off its face. Not something you see every day, though it shouldn't have surprised her. It did make her wonder how his shoulder was doing, if he was squeezing jaws off walkers.

"I said _wait_ lil mouse." She sighed.

"It's _Carol_," she said exasperated. She turned to face him, feeling much better with the open air around her. Sometimes, it just got to be too much inside the prison walls.

He smirked. "I like _Mouse_ better." She didn't want to go back inside, to watch them argue whether they would risk their lives forcing their way into Woodbury or whether to find another way to do it. So she just found a place to sit on the grass.

"Why don't you just sit with me Merle." She patted the space next to her, and pulled her knees to her chest.

She watched him flounder for a bit, unsure of what to do, taken aback by her request, until he sat a few feet from, and behind her. This way he had space between them, and he had the advantage of her body in front of his. She smiled to herself.

She didn't mind. It was a move much like Daryl.

"Hell you doin' out here anyway?" She turned to look at him, shrugged her shoulders.

"Same thing you are."

"What, ta rip open some walkers? Ta take a piss? Lay off some steam coz yous pissed at them goddamn assholes inside?" She gave him a look and he started laughing. She couldn't believe it really, his open answers. The way he just seemed to _talk_ to her. It was the most surprising thing about him. She never expected Merle to be so _chatty_ with her.

"No," she said, a smile creeping over her own face, "I needed some air. The walls…they just start to close in. Ya know?" His face closed in a little, and he nodded his head after moment.

"Yeah, I do." She sighed, feeling like everything was just out of her reach, as if she couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Besides, they can't seem to decide what they wanna do about Woodbury and I don't want to listen to it anymore." And because no one would listen to her anyway. He grunted, and stood on his feet, started pacing.

"Fuckin' dumbasses," he growled out. She watched him roll his shoulders, wincing at the wound on his left one. So he _must_ have strained it taking off that walkers jaw.

"They gonna go in there, screamin' their fuckin' heads off, jus' callin' the Governor to the slaughter." She shook her head. It really was a strange day, when, if you looked at the light, Merle Dixon _did _care.

Daryl and Merle really were brothers, no matter their other differences.

"Well if it means anything, I agree with _you_," she said quietly.

It took him a minute to process this, and when it finally hit him, he stopped in front of her. He looked down at her, glaring, his body blocking the light.

"Oh yeah," he squatted in front of her, arms across his knees. He had that look about him that she knew should make her worry. But it seemed that she was starting to get over _Merle Dixon_. He was just another man, with too many pains, who didn't know how to handle them so he took it out on the thing closest thing to him.

She understood that.

"Yes." She reached forward, slowly, and pulled aside his open flannel, revealing the wound on his shoulder. Blood seeped through the gauze and the strap of his dirty white tank top. She could see his body tense, a snarl workin' its way through him. She didn't let it bother her, which seemed to bother him more.

She found she liked that.

She pursed her lips. "I'm gonna have to fix that," she said, inclining her head toward the bleed. "I could wash yur clothes too, if you'd-"

He swatted her hand away, without the usual intensity. She raised her brows, surprised by his lack of vigor.

"Fuck woman. You ever just _stop_?" He seemed less inclined to yell at her, to decline her offer so she didn't say anything. He was probably going to let her do it anyway. He just needed to make it okay by him first.

"Not like I need ya fuckin' help. Always gotta be givin' handouts?" He stood and turned, facing the fading light.

"World's gonna eat ya alive, if ya keep that shit up," he said, no humor, no anger behind it. Just straight Merle.

"An' I mean _eat ya_." He gave her that look again, like he meant business.

"Well," she replied, pulling at the grass beside her, "I never knew how to _not _help someone."

She looked up then, met his blue-grays with her own blue eyes. She stared hard at the fresh cut along his cheekbone and the bruise under his eye, the lump on his forehead, and his split-lip.

"No matter what they've done to me."

He at least at the decency to look away from her gaze.

_She was tired. Tired of everything that had gone on all damn day. Rick and Merle fighting. Rick and Hershel going back and forth on how they were going to infiltrate or attack Woodbury and who would go with. Daryl trying to fight Merle's case. None of it got settled. All of it made her head swim. _

_So she decided to retire to her cell. _

_And who did she happen to find there? _

_She didn't want to, nor did she have the energy to deal with him then. "Merle, I don't want to do this right now."_

_He stepped forward, a growl ripping from him. She couldn't think, couldn't process what was happening until he had her pinned to the wall. This was beginning to look vaguely familiar. _

"_The fuck you think you was pullin' today?" She swallowed hard, but didn't know how to answer. There wasn't anything left in her head. It was all just floating, fumbling around. How was it that nobody else managed to keep track of him when no one _wanted _him here? _

_All she wanted to do was _sleep_ as it was. _

"_Merle, please I-" His face twisted into some kind of cocky grin. _

"_Please?" he said, licking his bottom lip. He shifted even closer, eyes growing dark, and now she felt him pressing up against her. This was becoming _far_ different than before. Now she _was _afraid. _

"_Merle-" He pressed his hand over her mouth and shushed her, shaking his head, tilting towards her. His eyes were focused on her lips now. _

"_Don't talk sweetcheeks. I'll take good care a ya since ya did the same for me earlier." There was a glint to his eyes that she'd not seen before. Not since-_

_She blanched. This wasn't happening. Not again. She was different now. A different woman. Stronger. Braver. _

_She would _not_ be taken advantage of ever again. Not like she'd let Ed do. _

_She bit down on his hand and stepped down hard on his foot. He let slip a yowl before clamping down it. He jumped back slightly, sucking on his hand. _

"_Don't you fuckin' _touch_ me Merle Dixon." His eyes flashed and just as she thought he was going to come at her, they were interrupted. _

"_The fucks goin' on in here?" She breathed a sigh of relief, so loud, Merle's eyes widened. _

_And Daryl, he saw Merle nursing his hand, saw that she was backed up against the wall _again_, and this time, she suspected he wasn't going to let Merle get the upper hand. _

_He moved so quick, lashing out with his fist, and connecting solidly with Merle's jaw. She heard a crack, but not one bone in her body felt sorry. And then he hit him again, right across the temple. And _again,_ right across his cheek. _

_He was breathing hard, hands fisted at his side as Merle cupped his face, his own body tense, doubled over. _

"_You fuckin' touch her," he whispered, so low, so soft, so _dangerous_, she felt a shiver crawl up her spine, "I'll kill you Merle. I will fuckin' kill you."_

_She'd never heard him talk like that before. Not for _her_. And it must have been real, the threat, because Merle didn't do nothing but take a step back, look long and hard at them both and then grunt and walk away. _

_And because they were alone, just the two of them, Carol took his hand in hers, holding it gently. _

_She pulled him to her cot and they sat there, breathing in the silence. She ran her thumb over the back of his hand, the blood of his knuckles smearing across her fingers, until she fell asleep with her hand still in his and that feeling of Daryl protecting her warming her blood._

* * *

**Reviews for the Muse**

**A/N: **What do you think? Events were out of order - hopefully you didn't get confused. I'm slowly establishing things. And this will definitely be longer than 3 chapters, let me tell you. Also, I'm looking to change my Pen Name soon. So if you hunt for me by name, be on the lookout. I'll probably post in the next chapter what it's going to be.

Thanks for your love!


	3. Abandoned

**EM: **Well, we move on. Thank you to all of my devoted readers, followers, reviewers. I certainly would be nowhere without all of you. But I owe a lot to _letmefallasleep_. Your review really helped clean this chapter up in ways I can't even say. Thanks, as always.

**Disclaimer: **The Walking Dead belongs to Kirkman and AMC.

* * *

Abandoned

She couldn't believe he was here. One minute she's wrestling with the rope tying her hands behind her back, the aching pain shooting through her wrists, making her wince and bite the inside of her cheek until it bleeds, and then next he's standing there.

Tall and foreboding, looking down on her like he's the devil come to take her to hell.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" He looked around, stepped toward her warily, and then reached up with his good hand, checking her body. She flinched at first, and he didn't stop what he was doing, which she realized he was looking for wounds. She relaxed, not caring when his hand drifted over areas she probably _should_ have been concerned about. She winced a few times, when he found the sore places. The places she'd been _hit_.

"Fuck you think Mouse?" She almost sighed in relief at the name. For a moment, she thought he had been there on the Governor's orders. For a moment, she thought he had _betrayed_ Daryl.

"How did you find me?" He snorted and traced her jaw with his fingers, eyes flickering dangerously. She winced a little, the ache in her jaw coming back at the pressure he placed there.

"Who did this?" She averted her gaze, but he gripped her shoulder, and she found those gray-blues again. She didn't have the words to tell him _who_.

It didn't seem to matter though. He could tell by her look and she knew by his face that he was pissed. And she could see that Daryl wasn't the only one who could read her face.

The growl that rumbled low in the back of his throat made her nervous.

"Why did you come for me?" He blinked and then reached around her, cutting the bonds. She noticed he'd found a knife to attach to his metal arm.

"Didn't come fer you. Came fer ma brother." She breathed, pulling her arms in front of her and rubbed her wrists, the bruising bold against her skin, the dried blood flaking off.

"Daryl was taken captive too?" He scoffed, "Naw stupid. Said I came _fer _him." Merle came for Daryl, because Daryl had come here. For her?

Merle reached forward and, she couldn't believe it but, _tenderly_ held her wrists. His fingers grazed over the rope wounds, and he couldn't seem to take his eyes off them.

"I'm okay," she said softly. He grunted and released her, standing up.

"Gotta go," he said gruffly, and made for the door.

She stood up abruptly, fear gripping her as he left and she swayed, her knees buckling beneath her. For that brief moment, she knew she was going down.

And then his hand was cupping her elbow, the other wrapping around her waist.

"Whoa now sugar," he said into her ear. She'd never felt safe with anyone's arms around her since the dead started walking. _Except for Daryl_.

But now, with Merle's arms around her, she couldn't imagine feeling much safer. Couldn't imagine feeling any safer than if Daryl had been holding her. And she couldn't really explain it, not even to herself.

She looked up into his face and knew with everything that had happened, she should never have felt this way around him. But she did. She felt _safe_. And the look in his eyes, told her that at he wanted to drop her, yet he wasn't going to let her go. For some reason, he _cared_.

She used his arm to steady herself. He released her once she was on her feet.

He cleared his throat. "You ever fuckin' tell anyone bout this 'n I'll cut up that pretty face a yurs." She couldn't even believe the threat this time. But for his benefit pretended like it meant something to her, and nodded.

He reached forward, ran his thumb over her brow, studying her face. She'd seen that look on Daryl before, when he left for a hunt and she'd caught him looking at her.

"Merle," she started, reaching out for him, wanting to tell him that everything would be okay, that in the end, they would find Daryl, _together_. But he turned and left.

"Find Daryl," he grumbled out before he walked through the door.

She stood there stunned, still wondering why he had touched her so softly.

* * *

_1 Day Earlier…_

He was pissed. And this time, it weren't at nobody but his goddamn self.

"Fuckin' stupid," he muttered, rubbin' at his swollen lip.

He had to admit, he didn't make the best fuckin' move, goin' after Mouse like that. Sure, maybe he'd meant ta scare the shit outta her. But he sure as hell woulda never a fucked her. She weren't his _type_. And he knew better than to go after his brother's woman like that.

But it was for the best. Best she didn't think he were good. Best she didn't think he was good like Daryl. Best she didn't think he was nothin' but the shit beneath her goddamn shoes.

Coz he didn't deserve the mouse. But Daryl, well, that was a 'nother fuckin' story. Daryl deserved a lot fuckin' better than he'd got.

He deserved the mouse. Deserved a lot a fuckin' things. But if he knew one fuckin' thing in his whole goddamn messed up life, then it was that Daryl deserved any woman who could stand up to his sorry ass. Especially a woman who bit back. Wouldn'ta let _Merle Dixon_ touch her without a goddamn fight. Coz he coulda taken her, coulda had his way if he'd a really wanted. But that wasn't his way. Wasn't who he was.

That was the ol' man. And he sure as _fuck_ weren't the ol' man. And he sure as fuck didn't touch his brother's shit.

And Daryl sure didn't let him git away with it neither.

In some fucked up way, he was proud a Daryl, for fuckin' standin' up fer his woman like that. He wasn't sure he'd let Daryl ever hit him again, but knowin' that Daryl wasn't gonna let someone, even _him_, take what was his, meant that he learned somethin'.

Learned that a Dixons gotta take care a his own. And that was one thing that _he'd_ taken from their ol' man. The one thing that wasn't all bad. And he'd been tryin' to get Daryl to see that his whole fuckin' life.

But Daryl, he weren't never sure a nothin'. Could see it the minute he'd walked outta that damn cell.

Boy weren't confident in hisself. And that was prob'ly his fault. Prob'ly fucked up his whole life, coz he'd never let Daryl believe anybody would love him.

But that was just his fuckin' problem, weren't it. Coz nobody was ever gonna love his ass.

"Fuckin' shit," he grumbled.

And it didn't matter what he fuckin' said. Coz Daryl was up there, in that goddamn tower, watching the mouse talk to that dumbass hocked up con, and lookin' like he was ready to shoot the cracker.

Didn't matter what he'da said. Didn't matter if he'da tried to keep Daryl away from all that lovin' bullshit. Coz maybe the mouse did love his brother. But maybe she didn't. People were fuckin' funny like that. And if he were fuckin' honest, he were a selfish sonuvabitch.

Coz he didn't wanna lose his brother.

"Even _if_ I wanna believe in the mouse," he muttered, walking back into the prison.

Daryl couldn't keep his eyes offa her.

Coz watching her, interact with that damn con, set his damn teeth on edge. Didn't feel right, havin' ta watch her smile and nod, like she enjoyed havin' a conversation with him. Like she didn't care that he'd been locked in a cell not more than a few months ago. Bein' on watch, in the damn guard tower, made for a lousy view.

What if she _did_ enjoy havin' a conversation with him?

He growled in the back of his throat, and gripped the crossbow tight, pullin' the scope in his sight.

What he wanted to do was put an arrow clean through his skull, right through the eye.

But Rick was all about keeping the peace now. Lettin'em in. Sharin' the load. Says they needed the manpower. Needed the muscle for when they went after the fuckin' Governor.

Fuck that. If they needed more manpower, than he'd do whatever else was needed. What was one less spineless dumbass?

Man couldn't hold a gun without some kind a shake. So he couldn't aim for fuckin' shit. Couldn't man up and clear out his fuckin' cell block coz a his goddamn _feelings_.

And now, he had to go and start hittin' on _his_-

He stopped, before he took that thought any further. Before he proved his brother right.

_They'd just sat there, in the silence, her thumb runnin' circles across his knuckles. And even though it hurt, it still felt _good_. He didn't want her to stop. Her hand was warm in his. And that feeling, calmed his beatin' heart. _

_He couldn't fuckin' believe he'd punched Merle like that. _

_But what he couldn't believe was what he'd seen Merle _doin'_. Weren't no fuckin' way he was gonna let that shit fly. He knew Merle and Carol had had some kind a talk, but she'd said no ta him this time. He'd heard it. _

_Told him to fuck off. _

_And Merle, sometimes he just didn't take no for a fuckin' answer. _

_And to _hell_ if he let his brother touch Carol. _

_Woman didn't deserve that shit. She'd done more for him than he could ever pay her back for. And the feelin' he got when he saw his brother, standin' in front a her like that, _possessive_, made his gut clench and he wanted to jump up and go slam Merle's head into the brick wall. _

_But Carol's thumb, still tracing circles on his knuckles, kept him rooted to the cot. _

_He could tell she was gettin' tired coz her head was dippin' lower, her eyes closing. He smiled a little when her head bobbed and she caught herself. _

_He pushed her onto the cot, soft and slow, and she didn't protest. Didn't let go of his hand neither. _

_But he didn't mind. _

_He stayed there, till he knew she were asleep. Her hand kept clenching his, her grip soft and gentle. But he knew she were asleep when her thumb stopped moving. _

_He traced her wrist with his trigger finger, finding her pulse. It was steady, just like she was. Always there just when he needed her, but wasn't expecting it. Always takin' care a him, even when he didn't need it. Or thought so. Always watchin' over him, with those sweet blue eyes a hers. _

_She shivered, burrowing in closer to his side. He reached over, and pulled the blanket up round her shoulders. And when a small smile slipped past her lips, in that dreamlike state, his mind went blank. _

_"I'll protect him," she muttered, squeezing his hand again. _

_He bent over, and reached out, hesitantly. He'd always wanted to run his hand through her hair, that silvery-gray that caught in the sunlight sometimes. He couldn't say what made him wanna do it, but he really wanted to. _

Fuck it.

_So he did, real soft-like, so as not to wake her. It wasn't what he'd expected. It was soft, and silky, coursing under his palm. She breathed real deep and he froze._

_She pursed her lips. _

_He loved when she did that. He knew she was always thinkin' somethin' serious. Usually, that look was pointed towards him. _

_He let his hand trail down to her jaw, her skin soft, the fine frown lines at the corners of her mouth also for him. But he liked that there was a part of Carol that he could claim. Liked that there was a part of her, that was _his_. _

_She started mumblin' something again, and he leaned forward to hear her better. But the closer he got, the more he forgot what it was he had intended. _

_Coz he couldn't stop starin' at those lips. _

_And he didn't realize how close he gotten until he felt her breath wash over his face, warm and inviting. The peace on her face was enough to make him want to pick her up, place her in the bed proper, and then join her. _

_"Well, well," he jerked back, fast, pulling his hand away, and he watched with regret as her face shifted into a grimace. _

_"Lookie what we got here," he turned round, to find Merle leaning against the cell door. _

_He felt the snarl, workin' its way loose. His brother just didn't know when ta fuckin' quit. _

_He stood up, pulled her feet on the bed and under the blanket, and then faced Merle. _

_"Fuck you want Merle?" He stalked outta the cell, prayin' ta God that Merle would follow him. _

_He wouldn't admit that he was fuckin' grateful that he did. "Just came to see what the Mouse 'n ma brother were up to," he said, somethin' hidden behind those words. _

_He waited till he'd gotten far enough away from Carol's cell till he turned on Merle to confront him. _

"_The hell you up to Merle? Huh? Cornerin' Carol like that? Makin' her promise you shit?" Merle's eyes darkened and he shifted closer to him, body coiled. _

"_Hell you know bout that Daryl?" He didn't know what to say, coz he didn't know shit bout it. Carol didn't really say what her 'n Merle had actually talked bout, which pissed him off. But he knew not to push it. The woman didn't take shit she didn't want. And if she talked to Merle about it, _accepted _it, then _he _had to accept it. _

"_I don't," he spat back, "so back the fuck off." Merle seemed to think it over, but he wasn't lettin' it go. _

"_The Mouse told ya somethin' though." Daryl squared his shoulders. _

_Coz if Carol wanted to tell him anything that was her fuckin' business. Not Merle's. _

"_Yeah. Somethin' bout a promise? What's it to ya?" Merle thought it over more, but he didn't press any further. _

"_That's between me 'n the Mouse," he said finally, backin' up. _

"_Sides, don' matter now. All that matters is you figure out how the fuck you gonna deal with _yur_ woman_._" Daryl didn't know what the hell he was talkin' bout and it must have shown on his face coz Merle laughed, harsh. _

"_You fuckin' stupid brother. Anybody with fuckin' eyes can see ya's got _feelings_ for the mouse." He froze, his mind reeling. And Merle, he couldn't seem to stop laughing. _

"_Brother, you ain't never stood up to me like that 'fore. Not never." He got close, real close, the space between them gone and Daryl got that feeling he used to get when he wanted to run, when his ol' man had that mean old look on his face. _

"_You never let no woman _in _'fore. Guess this ones got ya by the balls, she does," he whispered, low and in his face. _

"_Fuck you Merle!" And he slammed him back, with all the force he could muster. He saw Merle wince, at the wound on his shoulder. _

"_Daryl?" Rick's voice called from below. He waited, watching Merle, waiting for any kind of retaliation, for the blow that he was sure Merle would give. _

_And though Merle's eyes grew dark, his body tensed, and his fists curled, he didn't hit him back. Just shouldered past him, giving a hard shove in return. _

"_Woman'll be the death a ya brother," he spat as he went by. "Best just leave _that _alone. Best ta just come back to yur brother Merle. You 'n me, remember? Ain't nobody gonna love you like I do," he whispered cruelly and walked away. _

_And Daryl just let him go, the anger, the confusion, and the horrible realization that maybe Merle was right. _

_Just like he usually was. _

But Merle _weren't_ right.

Fuck, he couldn't be. Not about this. Daryl knew he weren't always aware a the shit goin' on around him, but to let this get by him? Hell fuckin' no.

But Merle…maybe Merle _were _right. Nobody had _ever_ loved him, not never in his whole fuckin' life. Not his ol' man. Not his Ma. He didn't even have no goddamn friends. Then suddenly the whole world goes to shit and he gets all three? A family, some friends and somebody to love him?

He stood up and kicked the chair over.

_He'd stalked back to the cell Carol had fallen asleep in and just watched her. Watched her curl up on her side, mumble somethin' incoherent in her sleep. He couldn't keep his shit straight these days. _

_One minute he's lettin' her touch him, feelin' up his scars like he didn't have a care in the world bout it, next he's yellin' at her for talkin' to Merle, his fuckin' brother, and then he's holding her goddamn hand. _

_She probably thought he was fuckin' cracked in the head. He was amazed she was still there, at his side, always staying with him. _

_Even when Merle was givin' her shit. _

_Maybe there _was_ somethin' there. Maybe, she did care. _

_And maybe, she thought he was a fuckin' pity case. _

_Coz that was just what he fuckin' needed. He turned from the cell, Merle's words fuckin' with his head._

He needed to let this go. Needed to git Merle outta his fuckin' head. This was just like the ol' days, when Merle was always right there, makin'im think shit that weren't really true.

_Unless it were_.

"Fuck this shit." What he _needed_ was to get back to keepin' watch. _That_ was important. Coz what if the Governor's men just showed and started-

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

Three shots went off rapid fire. And before he knew it, gunfire was exploding all around him.

And his first thought?

_Carol_.

"Rick!" He snatched up the gun at his side and peered through the scope, lookin' for the sonuvabitches who'd come round, and decided to shoot at _his family_.

"Fuckin' fuck fuck _fuck_," he muttered. It felt like it was his fault, watching them pour out of the trees like ants out of the hill. But it wouldn't a mattered. They were wearing camouflage gear, and _blood _and were spread so far and thin he wouldn't have seen all a them.

And then he saw it, the _herd_, comin' in from the other side.

"RICK!"

He glanced down as the gunfire poured around them, taking out the walkers around the fence, ricocheting off the buildings, shattering the windows on the cars.

"Carol!" He couldn't find her.

_He couldn't find her_.

She was gone. Nowhere to be found. There was too much shit goin' on and he couldn't focus the scope long enough on one spot to see where she'd gotten too.

"Fuckin' dammit woman, where are you?"

Then they was moving through the fence, like some goddamn battering ram. And there it was. The _tank_. Like somethin' out of a fuckin' movie. Where the hell did they get that fuckin' thing?

And they weren't killin' all the walkers neither. No they were lettin' some a them in, leading them to the prison. And it was like there were more walkers than he woulda thought, comin' in from the woods, off the road. Somethin' didn't feel right bout that.

He looked round for Carol again.

And there she was, curled up behind Axel's downed body.

_Shit. _He didn't fuckin' care bout that useless douche. What he wanted was to get Carol out of there.

He wanted her _safe_.

He reached over and called out to her, "stay fuckin' put woman I'm comin down!"

He weren't sure if she'd heard him, but he didn't stay to find out. He ran for the ladder and started climbin' down, fast as his wounded body would take him, pushin' it faster when it began to protest. He flinched as the bullets popped around his head.

He started hearing the voices of the group callin' out around him, but he knew they wouldn't make it in time. This was planned.

This was the _Governor_.

He dropped the last two feet, cringing at the twinge in his ankles and took off, ducking at the flying bullets.

"Daryl!" Her scream ripped through him, and he felt his heart thunder against his chest.

"Daryl!" He was surprised to hear his name called again, this time by a voice not Carol's.

He turned in time to see Rick and Merle come runnin' outta the prison, guns in hand.

He didn't bother with them. He ran to the wall, and took cover behind it. He took down two men and a walker. Though he had to say, it was getting hard to tell which were what. Now he could tell that the Governor's men had also covered themselves up to look like walkers.

"Crazy ass dicks," he muttered, taking down another man or walker.

But the tank just kept _comin'_, rollin' over the fence like it was made of _nothin'_.

But what he started to notice, was that they kept gainin' ground on him no matter how many shots he took. The walkers, the men, they just kept comin'.

And he couldn't get to Carol.

"Hell no!"

He stood up, about to run for Carol, when he felt someone pull him back.

"Daryl, don't. We have to get out of here." Rick had him gripped tight around the arm, holding him back. Daryl swung his arm at him, barely missing his face.

"Fuck that! Carol's out there! I gotta get her back!" Rick's face twisted, and he looked like he was in pain.

"Daryl, I don't want to leave her either but we'll be killed. You'll get _killed_."

"I don't fuckin' care!" Rick blanched, his grip loosening.

And then Merle punched him in the face, comin' outta nowhere.

"Hell Merle-"

"You wanna save yur woman?" Merle looked serious this time, like he weren't playin' no games. Daryl nodded, just barely, not bothering to correct him.

"Then you git the hell outta here and wait for yur chance. You stay alive _for her_." Merle held his gaze, and Daryl knew that his brother was right.

But hell if he wanted to do that.

"Let's go," Rick said, turning to run back through the prison. The others were waiting at the door, to see what would happen.

He looked back, watching Carol's huddled form under Axel's body. And he couldn't do it. He couldn't leave her. He felt a hole tearing inside him, he felt the air being sucked out of him. His knees were buckling beneath him. He couldn't just _leave her_.

Merle grabbed his arm and started pulling him back as the bullets popped around them. Merle ducked, but Daryl didn't even notice.

He couldn't keep his eyes off a her.

Couldn't stop from thinking that he was _abandoning_ her.

He knew that feelin', so fuckin' well, and he couldn't stop the hole from tearin' open his chest. He was _abandoning _her.

He was _abandoning _her just like everyone had done to him his whole fuckin' life.

"_Daryl_!" And her voice, ripped through him, tearing down everything he had built up. Her voice _destroyed_ him.

He screamed like he had nothin' left to live for.

* * *

**Reviews for the Muse.**

**A/N: **All right ya'll, so I don't do combat scenes well. _Obviously_. But I did what I could, making it fit to my needs. Hopefully everything else sort of omits the glaringly despicable fight scene, lol.

Okay, so **my new Pen Name**: _Noxid Laevigata_. It has meaning, and if you can figure it out, _ten points to you! _But seriously, you can let me know what you think of that too, if you want. But I won't be changing it just yet. Coz this is a seriously huge ordeal. People _know _me now. How crazy is that?

Only one more chapter to go my loves.


	4. Protect

**Nox**: How many of you have _actually_ read Promise? If you haven't, you really should. You should all know that I love you dearly. And you should all know, even though I'm repeating myself _again_, I absolutely fucking _love_ writing Carol and Merle together.

**Disclaimer: **The Walking Dead belongs to Kirkman and AMC.

**Warning: **Violence

* * *

Protect

"Ya know I never meant ta hurt her," he said, matter of fact, as if it hadn't ever been a problem.

But Daryl weren't listening. Couldn't focus on a single fuckin' thing.

Coz she was gone. Carol was _gone_.

And Daryl, he'd been a machine since they'd escaped the prison, out the back way. Workin' through the underground, the others thanking Rick like he'd done something fuckin' worthy of it, and into the woods surrounding the fence. The walkers, the herd that had followed the roar of that tank, had started to overrun the prison walls and the Governor's men had taken advantage of that.

Now they were stuck, in the middle of nothin', walkers everywhere and nothin' but what they could grab. Jude was cryin', Beth not far from the same and Hershel was badly injured.

They were fucked.

"She's _gone_ Daryl. You gotta man up and git yur shit together, else the mouse is gonna be the snake's dinner." Daryl whirled on Merle, eyes lit with anger, crossbow raised.

Merle stood there, arms at his sides, face darkening.

"You turn that weapon on me baby brother, you better be prepared to fuckin' _use_ it," he growled out, hand fisted at his side. The crossbow shook, Daryl's hands the reason behind it.

He couldn't do this. Couldn't think fuckin' straight. Couldn't get the image of Carol, lyin' on the ground, behind Axel's dead body outta his mind.

He'd just _left_ her there.

"Fuck," he moaned, letting the crossbow drop back to his side, dropping his head into his hand.

He was a goddamn mess. Pullin' his weapon on his _brother_. What the hell was he thinkin'?

He smacked his forehead, once, twice and then started to pace.

He weren't. That was the problem. He was lost in the fuckin' pain of it all. He needed to git his fuckin' shit together. Just like Merle had said.

He looked up, about to say somethin' and Merle had that brow raised, arms crossed. "You fuckin' figure it out now?"

Daryl stopped, stopped thinkin', stopped movin', stopped the emotions from crashin' over him.

"Fuck you Merle," he muttered, not really meaning it, the words just a habit. But he walked forward, shoulder to shoulder with Merle, and stopped. He didn't look up at him, but tilted his head toward him.

"I got it," he whispered, the only kind of apology he would ever admit. Just like Merle tellin' him he would never hurt Carol was his only way of apologizin' ta him.

They really _were_ fucked up.

* * *

_She woke up by herself, and that left her feeling colder than normal. Just maybe, she had wanted Daryl to be there when she woke up. Just maybe for once, she wished they could be different together. _

_But she knew better than to ask for that. She hadn't expected him to really stay with her last night, long as he did. But she'd love it. Loved that he'd stayed with her. The feeling of him, next to her, warm and solid, made everything feel right. Didn't matter that the world had gone to hell in a hand basket. Didn't matter that the world had taken away her daughter. Didn't matter that Ed had treated her like shit since the day she'd married him. _

_All that mattered, in that moment, was that he had _stayed_. _

"'N ya know I was only thinkin' of myself when I took that man's stash, but a course, the next thing I know is tha damn cops is on my ass, and…" She was only barely listening to him. He'd come out here, looking for something she supposed. Someone to talk to, who wouldn't judge him. She didn't understand what he saw in her. One minute she's a lesbian, the next he wants to get in bed with her and then he's looking for a friend.

All she wanted was to go up to Daryl in the guard tower and talk to him, to see his _face_. She hadn't been able to get near him since the night before.

_She went looking for him, when she found the courage. She couldn't leave this hanging. She _had _to tell him. Had to tell him how she felt. _

_She had to tell him that she loved the way he avoided her gaze when they met, like he was embarrassed. That she loved the way he always looked for her face first when he came back from a hunt. That she loved the way he knew just when she needed her space and when he could invade it. How she loved the way he carried Judith, as if she were the most precious thing in the world, and he didn't want anyone to know that. And how she loved the long, white scar that trailed over his left shoulder, telling her so much, but so little at the same time. She'd wanted to run her fingers over that one for so long now, but she'd never had the chance. _

_She'd loved all his scars. Each and every one of them. That was who he was. Daryl Dixon. _

_The man she loved._

And then everything happened so fast. One minute she was talking to Axel, thinking about Daryl the whole time, and the next they hear gunfire. Like little firecrackers going off around her head. Except it wasn't as innocent as her and Sophia in the backyard, watching them burst in the darkness, hoping Ed wouldn't come home to find out.

It was chaotic, and bloody, and loud and so utterly quiet at the same time. She wondered if that was the shock pulling her into a daze, making everything slow motion, as the chaos erupted around her.

But when Axel's body went down, so fast, everything hit her. His face twisted into a mask of shocked pain. And her mind caught up. She dropped with him, lying flat. When the bullets popped around her, too close for comfort, she shimmied closer to Axel's still body, warm and bloody. His lifeless eyes stared back at her.

_But the minute she found him, he was with Merle again. He was always with Merle now, or Merle was always interrupting them. _

"_Thought I told ya to leave it alone?" She watched Daryl struggle with whatever it was they were talking about. He paced, and Merle stood there, his smile cocky. _

_His attitude had been shifting these past days, far too much for her liking. She didn't know how it would affect Daryl. _

"_You ain't right Merle. You just…" He searched for the words, struggled to say them. _

"_Why? Coz you think the mouse _loves_ you?" Daryl's face twisted in pain and she wanted to run out and tell him right then and there that yes, she did. _

"_Coz she don't," Merle spat. Daryl's head dropped, fists uncurling, as if the fight were leaving him. _

_She understood then, the kind of pain family could bring you. The kind of love you have for them, even when they hurt you the most. She had known that kind of brokenness her whole life. Ed made sure she knew what he thought of her. What he thought of Sophia. He was always degrading them, making her feel like her life had been _worthless_. _

_But the difference between Ed and Merle, was that Merle cared. _

_Merle loved Daryl, no matter what he had done. _

She could hear Daryl yelling at her, but the bullets and the sound of an engine were so loud she couldn't hear what he was saying. His voice was lost on her ears, and she hated that. She wanted to run to him, attempted to look up, to see where he was, but jerked back.

Another spray of bullets fell around her, pummeling into Axel's back. The way his body jerked, like he was having a seizure, sent fear through her. This was _real_. They were coming. And she was suddenly in the middle of it all, and frighteningly unable to find a way out of it.

She may have felt sorry for the man, but she wasn't sorry for using him as a shield. Even as his blood soaked her clothes, coated her skin. She wanted to get back to Daryl.

She wanted to _live_.

_Daryl looked like he'd had his world ripped out right underneath him. Did he really think that she didn't love him? That she didn't care at all? _

_Even after all that they'd had been through? _

"_You fuckin' stupid. She just gonna leave yur ass when the shit git rough," he said. And Carol heard hesitation in his voice. As if he were trying to convince _himself_ that as well. _

_But Daryl didn't wait around to hear anymore. He pushed past Merle, and left. _

It became clear, very quickly, that _no one _was coming.

She had been left behind.

She felt her chest constrict, the breath stop in her lungs, and her eyes begin to burn. She couldn't believe that he would leave her. Not him. Not Daryl.

"Daryl!" She hadn't meant to sound so desperate, so lost, but she couldn't stop the way her voice left her. She _needed_ him.

Needed him right then, to pick her up, to hold her close, and to tell her everything would be alright and to stop her damn crying.

She needed him to _save her_.

Even _if_ that made her weak.

"_You can come out now Mouse." She'd meant to follow Daryl, to go after him. But the way his shoulders hunched, his head drooped, she wasn't sure she should. He looked like he needed his space, the time to think on his own thoughts. _

_So she stepped out and approached Merle. _

"_You git all that?" She didn't say nothing, didn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was upset. _

"_I know what kind of man you want us all to _think_ you are Merle Dixon," she said softly. _

"_But the problem is," and she reached up, and touched his face, her fingers ghosting across his cheek, and up to the pink scar that ran over his eyebrow. He must have been too shocked, because he stood there, eyes watching her intently. _

"_You can't hide how much you love Daryl from me," she whispered. _

_There was a moment, when he looked like he was going to tell her exactly what was on his mind. As if he was ready to let her know that he did care. _

_And then it was gone. He smacked her hand away, harshly with his metal one, causing her to wince. _

_Regret flashed over his features, but he turned quickly and stormed away. _

"_Fuck you Mouse," he muttered loud enough for her to hear. But she didn't hear the usual vehemence behind it. _

_She only heard a man filled with shame, looking for a way out, wishing he could save his brother from that same pain. _

_A man who cared. _

She lay there, until the sound of gunfire receded. Until she felt like the world had stopped. Things were walking around her, things she suspected to be walkers. She couldn't be sure why they weren't attacking her, but she didn't care.

She was alone.

Left.

Abandoned.

"Martinez." She didn't move, her muscles coiled tight. The voices that broke around her didn't belong to those she knew.

"Got a live one." The breath caught in her lungs, and the fear crippled her.

Even as Axel's body started to come to life, right in her arms.

Still she didn't move.

"Locos espiritus malditos," he murmured and put a gun to Axel's head, pulling the trigger.

She flinched as the sound of the gunshot echoed in her ears, making her cringe and curl up.

"Fuckin' shit," someone said, as the echo of their voice mixed with the ringing in her ears.

"Bitch is alive." She turned over, pulling herself from Axel's grasp, and looked up into the faces of several men, all covered in military gear, all covered in blood and guts.

"Then she comes with us." And the last thing she saw was the butt of a rifle, coming down at her face, and the pain erupting in her head.

_"You promise me somethin' woman." She would give him anything now, give him anything to show him that she truly did love Daryl. _

_"I ain't never asked nothin' of nobody. Ain't never had to. I always been there, to take care of my own shit." She knew that now, knew how much he loved Daryl himself. It was what they both had in common. Why should could never look at Merle and think he was anything but Daryl's big brother. _

_"But you __promise__ me." To make the pain in her head go away, to make the pain in her _heart _disappear, she would give him _anything.

_"Promise you'll take care a him." And she would never break that promise. Wished he would understand that. _

_Wished he would let her take care of him too. _

She jerked awake, cold water cascading down her neck, between her breasts. She shivered, and blinked her eyes rapidly.

"Hello, darlin'." She found him, leaning against the table. The knife was gone, and so was the patch covering his eye. Now she could see just what he had been hiding. Michonne really must have hated the man to have ruined his eye for good like that.

He reached forward, and she leaned back, trying to twist away.

"Don't worry sweetheart," he soothed, reaching forward to wipe the water away from her face.

"Just came to see if you considered my offer." His offer. The one where she be the bait to lure Daryl and Merle out of hiding so that he could kill them. The one where she be the pawn in his game, the one to kill her friends.

He must have thought she was weak.

"You can go to hell," she spat back.

And he smiled like he was expecting that answer all along.

* * *

"I'm gettin' her back." The others turned to him, confusion written on their faces as he stormed into their broken circle. Rick stepped forward, the bruise on his jaw standing out.

"Daryl, we need to think about this."

"Ain't no fuckin' thinkin' Rick! It's fuckin' _Carol_!" He turned to them all, pushing that anger at them. Each of them turned away from him, shame clouding some of their faces.

"Daryl, I know you're upset-" He ran, _dove _for Rick, and gripped him by the collar, hauling him forward. He wanted to _hurt _Rick, make him feel some a the pain he was goin' through right now. Man didn't have no _right_ sayin' that shit.

"You don't know fuckin' _upset_ Rick," he threatened under his voice, the barely contained fury making his whole body shake. He could hear Jude cryin' in the background and just noticed Carl, standing at Rick's side, gun at the ready.

"I'm goin' _back_," he snarled, releasing Rick. "I'm goin' back to Woodbury, whether your with me, or not." He backed up, first one step and then a few more. Until he was out of the circle, and it was like he was back at the quarry, all of them lookin' at him like he was some goddamn redneck asshole who didn't belong.

"Ma brother's goin' back," Merle announced, comin' up behind him, squarin' his shoulders off. He crossed his arms, lookin' round at them all as if he were some fuckin' _king_ lookin' for his men to come forth and ride inta fuckin' battle with him. Like they was expected to.

Sometimes, he fuckin' loved his brother for bein' the way he was.

"Son, you know we'll fight with you. No one ever said we were leaving Carol behind," Hershel said, limping forward. His head was wrapped, blood seeping through the gauze.

Beth rocked Jude in her arms, and nodded. "She's one of us. _Family._"

Carl holstered his gun and nodded towards Daryl, not saying a word.

"You really thought we were going to abandon her?" Glenn asked, clearly appalled that this was even a thought.

But there it was.

"We _did_!" Maggie came up behind Glenn, her stance protective like he was gonna do somethin'. "We just _left _her there. An' ya'll just made me!" Glenn's face dropped, hurt.

"I woulda gone after her! I woulda died for her!" He jabbed his finger in each of their directions, and stared long and hard at Rick.

But Rick didn't let that go. "Now hold on. I wasn't the only one who told you to leave-"

He screamed like a man gone crazy and jumped for Rick. But this time, he didn't get to him. Strong arms grabbed hold a him, and pulled him back, one arm nothin' but metal. The feel of Merle, steady and big behind his back, felt right.

That was somethin' he hadn't felt in a long time. Merle havin' his back.

"Merle told me I could go back fer her," he yelled, spit flyin'. "All you said was that I was gonna git killed! Did you even _think_ bout Carol? Did ya?"

He felt the high fallin', his body crashin'. He was crumblin' in Merle's arms, and soon, his brother would be draggin' him to Woodbury if he didn't calm the fuck down.

But he was sick a lookin' at their dumb, stupid faces. Like they was the ones who got it bad. Carol was either dead or captured by the fuckin' Governor. And to fuckin' hell if he didn't go lookin' to find out which it was.

"You can just go _fuck_ yourselves," he spat, tossing Merle's arms off a him, and walking away. "I'll take care a my family. _I'll _take care a Carol," he threw back at them, the sting of his words piercing them all.

Merle watched his brother go, feelin' like the shit had just hit the fan and he was pretty damn pleased with it. Even if he'd had ta break to get there.

"Thought ya dumbasses knew ma brother better'n that," he said cockily, and followed Daryl.

* * *

The man, with his big arms, and blocky hands, and his hard face. She couldn't look at him. Couldn't paint a picture of him in her head.

Because all he did was hit her.

She never thought another man would hit her except for Ed. But this?

This was different. This was painful. This was personal.

He hit her where it hurt. In places she'd never thought someone could find.

Across her collarbone, where Ed had once thrown the coffeepot at her. In the thigh, sending shooting pains continuously up her leg. He smacked her across the face, like she couldn't handle a punch, just like Ed had. Men were so _degrading_. She felt her lip split, the taste of iron coating her tongue. And then he sent one in her stomach, making her double over, the breath knocked right out of her.

She'd never felt anything like it. Never felt her body _ache _like this before. It was like she was breaking in every way. She wanted Daryl here, with everything that she had.

But every part of her was screaming to be strong.

She looked up, the man's eyes empty before her, and watched the Governor wave him away. He stepped forward, and gripped her jaw, sending a wave of pain through her.

"You either help me, or you die." His eye, the other torn, jagged, _ruined_, pierced through her, telling her that no matter what she did, he would never let her live. Not after this. He was a man out for revenge. A man out for _death_.

And she would never let him have what he wanted. She would never give in to the weakness that everyone seemed to think that she was. She was strong. She was powerful. She would _protect_ the one she loved until the very end.

"I made a _promise_," she said, lifting her chin, meeting his eye. Anger flashed over it, and he squeezed her jaw, until she moaned in pain, until his hand started to shake. She felt the tears slide down her cheeks. When he finally released her she gasped in pain, but never looked away. Defiant.

"And I'll die before I break that promise."

* * *

**A/N**: Okay, so ya'll got _another_ chapter outta me. That's right, you ridiculous, reviewing people whom I love! This is not the last! But the next one _will _be the last. It will go no further.

I've also found my Pen Name, for real: _Noxid Anamchara_. **Nox** for short. Thirty points to _spygrrl99 _for knowing exactly what I had done with that name before this one.

_Your review would mean the world to me. _


	5. Never

**Noxid: **This chapter - it got to me. Like no other ever has. Not even my story Always. I hope, with everything that I have, that you are as moved as I was while I wrote it.

I wish I had had the time to reply back to each of your reviews, but this story consumed me, and I'm afraid I simply had no time. So _thank you_, each and every one of you. For being here with me. Your voices mean the world to me. _Maryl_ becomes something with you all here. Which is how the sequel, Remember, came about. Please go find it when you are done here!

And one of my reviewers posed a thought; where do I get my inspiration? The answer is _simple_: I believe. Believe in Caryl. Believe in _Maryl_. With all of my heart, whether Merle dies on Sunday, or Carol dies next week, or Caryl _never _happens. I will never stop believing. Because in my heart, they are _real_.

So to all of my _Caryl_ers, and now, my _Maryl_ers – _this_ is for you.

**Disclaimer: **The Walking Dead belongs to Kirkman and AMC.

_But it also belongs to all of us, for in our hands it becomes something else, something _**extraordinary**.

* * *

Never

"_You remember," he forced out, between his grit teeth, clutching her tight. Her chest ached with the weight of this moment, the force of his grip. _

_She caressed his cheek, soft and gentle, the tears flowing freely. _

"_You remember our promise," she felt the tears slide down her face. Everything was crumbling around her. _

_And she didn't know what to do._

* * *

"Fuck this," he growled, pacing outside the walls, as darkness started to settle around them.

"Daryl, we have to wait for the signal." He spun on Glenn, eyes glowing in the dark.

"Fuck the signal! I ain't waitin' no more. Carol's in there 'n I'm gettin' her out." Glenn backed down, looking ashamed. Ever since his outburst back in the woods, everyone had been acting that way. Like he was a fuckin' walker.

"Daryl." He turned on his heel and stomped over.

"What?" he yelled, arms up. "I told ya, I ain't waitin'. Yur either with me, or ya ain't." Merle shook his head, smilin' a little.

"Fuckin' listen brother," he gripped his arm, and pointed towards Woodbury with the other.

"We gotta do this _quiet_," he said, soundin' like he had all the answers for once. Soundin' like he knew exactly what he was doing. And for once, Daryl thought maybe he did. He'd spent who knows how fuckin' long at the goddamn place.

"Seems ta me like the folks went 'n got themselves all riled up again, while we was gone." He raised a brow, insinuating somethin'. "Gotta use this to our advantage."

Merle turned to look at Woodbury, and walked some ways down. They'd taken out the walkers that had come round, and Tyreese and Sasha were currently on the lookout in case any more showed up.

He didn't like that he had to leave his back protected by _them_.

"We only got one up on the wall. Fuckin' _careless_ pricks," he muttered. Daryl snorted.

"But while Officer Friendly's gone 'n got hisself integrated inta the snake pit, we can make our move _right here_." Merle pointed to a structure, just beyond the wall.

"Is that a…" Merle laughed and clapped Daryl on the shoulder.

"Hell yes it is brother. But it's the best spot for us to make our grand fuckin' entrance." Daryl turned to Merle and smiled.

* * *

She didn't know where to go. Didn't know what to do. He'd just left her there.

Said to find Daryl, but where was he? Where did she start to look?

She rubbed at her jaw absently, the pain a steady ache that kept her focused.

"Doesn't matter," she whispered, taking the first step toward the door.

She had to find him, no matter what awaited her out there.

All that mattered was that she _see _him again.

* * *

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Glenn looked between the two of them, upset, couldn't believe what they'd just suggested.

"You really want us to go through there?" Maggie looked skeptical, eyeing the spot that Merle had pointed out. Daryl nodded, repositioned the crossbow over his legs.

"Best bet sweetheart," Merle said confidently, swagger clear in his smile. Maggie scoffed and walked away, tossing her hands into the air in defeat.

"But it's…" Glenn stared at the spot, clearly disgusted.

"What? Not man enough gook?" Glenn eyed Merle, and Daryl could just make out the slow simmering anger that was building up. He didn't need this, Merle and Glenn fighting. He needed them both _with _him.

"Coz ma brother 'n me, we been through more shit than I care ta talk 'bout. 'N that," he pointed to the mound, "ain't _nothin' _but a walk in the park. Or over the heap," he chuckled.

Glenn scowled, and stood, starting to pace. Daryl wasn't goin' to wait long, but he did want Glenn goin' with him. He trusted the Chinaman, with his life.

He stopped, looked down at Daryl, and thought about it for a moment more.

"When do we leave?" And Merle chuckled.

"Right now. So git yur walker gear on 'n lets take us a walk!" Merle stood up and walked away.

Glenn watched him go and shook his head. "You really like that asshole?" Daryl studied Glenn for a moment, and saw that he wasn't looking to cause trouble, more or less just pissed about being called a gook. Daryl couldn't really blame him.

"He's ma brother," he said, matter-of-fact. "Ain't no question 'bout likin' him." Glenn looked down at his boots and cleared his throat.

"I _love_'im." Glenn jerked his head up, surprise clear in his face. He must not of been expecting to ever hear that word come out his mouth.

"'N I'd _die_ fer him." And Daryl walked away, following his brother.

* * *

She was going to slow. She knew it. But was she scared of what she would find around every corner. The minute she'd stepped out of the door, she'd dropped to the ground at the sound of gunfire popping outside.

She laid there for a moment, letting her beating heart settle before she screamed at herself to get up and move. She had to go. She had to _move_.

They were out there, fighting the Governor's men, maybe trying to find her, and she was just _lying _there like a damn idiot.

She had to find Daryl. Had to find him and make sure he was safe.

Had to _keep_ him safe. She'd made a promise to Merle. She'd made a promise to protect Daryl, and he was here, trying to protect her. If he died, trying to save her, she would never forgive herself.

_Merle_ would never forgive.

And she wouldn't blame him.

* * *

"This is _disgusting_," Maggie whispered hoarsely, behind him. He just chuckled, working his way through the bodies beneath his feet. Though he couldn't lie, he agreed with her.

Merle was ahead of him, traipsing over the walkers like they deserved every fuckin' tramp of his boot on their faces.

It was pretty fuckin' smart really, keepin' a pile of walkers on one side of the town. The stink kept the walkers away from this side, so they'd only have to keep one man on guard duty if they wanted. And the pile wasn't close enough to be smelled in the town so the people didn't know it were here.

Fuckin' genius it was it was.

Fuckin' sick too.

The bodies just rotted out here. Decayed until they fell apart at each step he took. The arms and limbs like puzzle pieces that were lost, and just tossed here. And then the torsos of those bodies, like fallen trees. Except the guts trailin' outta them, and the legs still attached to some, and the heads with their barely attached cords. Heads rolled, eyes staring lifelessly up at him.

It was a graveyard.

And it fuckin' smelled.

"I'm gonna puke," Glenn choked from beside him.

"Fuckin' hold it in Chinaman," he barked back softly.

It was dark now, and they could barely see where they were going. But he could hear the distinct sound of chains, of metal clinking. The sound was too familiar for him to not know what it was.

"Fuck!" He heard scuffling, and Glenn choking, gagging.

"Glenn?" Maggie called out, rushing to his side. Glenn was on the ground, gagging, hands spread out in the filth of the walkers.

"Oh my god, I'm gonna be sick." Daryl just laughed.

"Thought you'd gotten over this shit." Glenn and Maggie both shot him a look that could kill, though Glenn's was ruined by the churning of his face.

"Lets fuckin' go," Merle barked, still movin' on up ahead. Maggie grumbled somethin' he couldn't hear, but hauled Glenn up and kept walkin'.

"Merle, wait up," he called, running to catch him. But Merle started jogging then, the wall suddenly in his sights.

And then he saw it. The walkers. Chained to the wall, the low moan starting to build up. The chains attached to their necks clanking in the darkness loudly now that they'd been seen.

And then Merle was there, slipping past the walkers, through the rusted wall, pulling back on the sheet of metal that hadn't been repaired in months. The one he'd known about but had purposefully left alone.

"Merle!" He barked. But Merle slipped through, and he followed, dodging the hands that reached out to grab him.

It was dark back there, and he couldn't see shit, so when hands grabbed him round the collar, he flipped, reaching out and acting as if he'd been caught.

"Fuckin' me Daryl!" Merle's eyes lit up in the dark then, and he focused on his face. "This way brother," he pulled him ahead, and they made their way forward.

He ducked round a corner, and pointed towards a building further up. "See that?" he said, eyes watching the street, oddly empty.

Daryl nodded. "Best chance is the mouse is there." He looked up, and spotted another building. He pointed to it.

"Last time we was here, Glenn and Maggie were tied down in _there_," he said suspiciously. Merle's eyes flashed, and his lip curled up.

"Governor's got…a _special _place for the ones he likes. But she could be there as well." He pointed to the building Daryl had noticed. "You take that one, I'll take tha other."

Daryl clasped Merle on the shoulder, and nodded. "Thanks brother, I uh, I," he floundered, scratchin' the back of his head.

Merle grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him close. "When you find her," he forced out, heatedly, "you keep her _close_." Daryl couldn't decipher the look in his eyes, but he gripped Merle round the back of the neck, hard.

"You don't let go," he said, grippin' him tight. He'd never seen that look cross his brother's face before. Never seen him look so desperate for someone who wasn't _family_.

He nodded and Merle let him go, taking off in the direction of the building.

Daryl did the same, coming out of the shadows of the building, leaving the safety of it.

He had to find Carol. He had to get her back. Didn't matter if Rick had found the Governor or not.

All that mattered to him was Carol.

And then the gunshots went off around him.

* * *

It was chaos. It was too dark to see anything, and she could hear the gunshots going off at random. She didn't know where the exit was and she didn't know who was out there waiting for her.

But Daryl. She had to find him. Merle told her he was here, that she had to find him.

"Take the inbreds out!" She turned so fast she pulled at the pain in her side, wincing.

You didn't call anybody an inbred unless they were…

"Daryl!" She called, not thinking, not even _caring_ if anybody heard her. Only caring if he was out there. Only caring that she find him in this godforsaken mess.

"DARYL!" Her chest ached, from the abuse she took and because if she could just hear his voice, calling out her name-

"CAROL!" She wasn't sure she was breathing, wasn't sure she could make her heart start beating again.

She ran out from the cover of the building and didn't look back. Didn't stop even as the shots of gunfire got louder the closer she got to where Daryl's voice had come from.

"Daryl!" Her body ached, her jaw protested each time she called out his name, and she was out of breath but she didn't stop moving.

Didn't stop because if she did, she might never make it to him. Might never see his face one last time. And she had too. She had too. No matter what happened to her from here, he was the only thing she needed.

The smoke from the torches lit up the open area and she could see them, men running in and out of the buildings, bodies left on the ground dead. It was clear now that those from her group had come here to fight, and they'd waged open war on the Governor.

It was clear she had not been forgotten.

"Carol!" She turned, toward the sound of his voice, and the shadow of his outline. She knew it was him. Knew by his hunched shoulders, and the crossbow raised up to his shoulders, the picture she always knew he was.

He had come.

"Daryl, I'm here!" She ran out, into the open courtyard, forgetting everything that was happening, forgetting that it would take only an inch and she could be cut down by a bullet.

She could feel them, flying past her, the feel a rush as her life hung in that brief moment of clarity that she was still _alive_. And then she saw his face, as the smoke cleared, and the light illuminated his face.

_Daryl_.

She didn't think of herself, didn't think of Judith, or the group or _anyone_. She only thought of him, and she ran for him. Like she had nothing left to live for. Because she wanted to be with him, to be in his arms. Because if she was going to die, she didn't want to do it alone.

She heard the crack of a gunshot, too close for her to know what to do, and his face twisted.

"Carol!"

And then a large body collided with hers, knocking the breath out of her and pulling her to the ground. They rolled, once, their hands coming up around her in protection, grunting as their bodies connected violently. She felt a familiar object hitting her in the middle of her back.

"Fuck Mouse," he growled out, "just can't sit still, can ya?" She looked up, into Merle's blue-grays. He pulled her up to stand, still hunched over, his hand on her waist protectively.

"Baby brother's gonna kill me if I let ya git-" and the sound of a spray of bullets firing went off and Merle's body jerked.

She watched as his face contorted, twisted, _morphed_ as pain shot through him. He pulled her into his arms, clutched her tight. She buried her face against his chest and couldn't_ breathe_.

She felt gravity pull at them, and their bodies slowly fall to the ground.

"Merle!" Daryl's voice broke her thoughts, shattering the hope of this ever turning out okay.

Now, everything was _wrong_.

Merle's body took the brunt of the fall, and he grunted, moaning. She could hear Daryl screaming, and maybe even Glenn and Maggie's voice following his.

But she couldn't see anything but Merle's blue-grays, staring back at her, intently.

She reached up between them, clutching at his shirt with one hand, and the other going to his face, as the tears welled up in her eyes.

She couldn't do this, couldn't _let _this happen.

He'd been shot, for _her_.

He would _die _for her. And she'd just _let _happen. How could she have done that to Daryl? How could she look at him now? How could he look at her? How could she face the day, knowing that she'd let Merle die? When all he had ever done was look out for her?

But how could she do anything else? She was the one who'd ran out into the open gunfire. She was the one who'd wanted to get to Daryl. She was the one who'd brought this on Merle.

This was _her _fault.

His face was red, the breath caught in his lungs and she watched in horror as the corners of his lips tilted up.

"He _loves_ you," he choked out, blood trickling down his chin. The tears slipped down her cheeks, and she bit her lip, trying to hold back the sobs. And even in the end, he was still only thinking about _Daryl. _Still being the one person everyone never knew that he was.

"Won't never admit it, ma brother, but he sure a fuck loves you." Somebody was screaming around them. People were yelling. Bullets whizzed back and forth over their heads.

"Can see it in his _eyes_ when he looks at ya." He coughed, hard, and blood flew out of his mouth, splattering her cheek. She didn't flinch. Couldn't let go of his gaze. She didn't want to see this, to watch him in these last moments. But she had to know _Merle_. Had to know the man that had made _Daryl,_ the man that she loved. For if anyone had given Daryl his strength, it was this man right here. His brother.

"You remember," he forced out, between his grit teeth, clutching her tight. Her chest ached with the weight of this moment, the force of his grip.

She caressed his cheek, soft and gentle, the tears flowing freely.

"You remember our _promise_," he growled. She choked on the tears then, the sobs breaking free. She nodded, and buried her face in his chest.

He couldn't _die_. Not Merle. Not Daryl's brother. He had to live. Had to live for Daryl. He'd only just gotten him back. Was life really so cruel as to rip him away so soon? Would the world see a family torn apart so quickly?

She wanted to scream for Merle. She wanted to scream for everything that was being _lost_.

"Don't you cry for Merle," he whispered, stroking her hair once. She sobbed again, the gesture breaking her heart.

"An' don't you never let go of ma brother," he said, drifting even further. She looked up hastily, her eyes burning.

His eyes were going dark, not really looking at her.

"Daryl!" she screamed, needing him to be here, to see Merle before he really left for good. Because if Daryl didn't get that chance to say goodbye to his brother then she'd never forgive herself. _Never. _

"Merle!" He slid to a halt, beside them. He grabbed Merle's head gently, turned it to face him. She could see the tears burning at the rims.

Merle was silent and she felt her heart stop.

He couldn't be dead. Not yet. Daryl had to say goodbye. He _needed _that. Needed his brother to know what he had to say to him. They'd never been given that chance last time. The world couldn't take that away from him again.

"Don't you leave me brother!" He begged, screamed, kneeling next to him, bent over, as the tears fell down his cheeks onto Merle's face.

And Merle coughed, blood flying. "Quit cryin' pussy," he whispered hoarsely, a smile gracing his face. Carol couldn't help the tears that tipped over and fell anew. Her chest ached but she knew time was running out. Merle's arms were growing weaker around her.

"Merle, don't. Don't leave me. Not again. It's you 'n me, right?" The desperation in his voice broke everything inside of her. She should never have let this _happen_. Merle smiled, mouth filling with blood. He turned his head and spit it out.

"Always, baby brother." She could feel his heart slowing, and she looked at Daryl, eyes widening.

"I always loved you Merle. You always done right by me. You know that, right?" He was talking so fast, trying to say it all, yet he gripped Merle tighter, not wanting to let him go. Merle chuckled, reaching up to take Daryl's arm.

He cracked open his eyes. "The mouse," he cracked out, holding Daryl's gaze, gripping his arm tight, "don't you never let go of her." Daryl nodded, tears falling down his cheeks, and he grabbed Merle's hand, squeezing tight.

"I won't Merle," he said hastily. Merle's head tipped to the side, eyes growing darker. He found hers again, and he wrapped that metal arm around her tight once more.

She didn't know what to do, she didn't _know what to do! _This wasn't how it was supposed to be! After everything they had been through, he couldn't just die like this! Not for her! Not in the middle of this goddamn misery!

"You can't die dammit," she mumbled out, through her tears.

She would never had thought before that she would have come to love Merle Dixon. But that was the truth. She _loved_ Merle. Loved him like the brother he was to Daryl.

Because that was it wasn't it? She loved Daryl. She _loved_ Daryl. And Merle had been the one to make them both come to that realization. Merle. The most unlikely person, the one who'd given them hell, the one who'd been there for Daryl his whole life, the one who'd _saved _Daryl, the one who had never let him down.

The one who'd never let him go, no matter what life had thrown at them.

Merle had never let go.

"I'll never let you go," she whispered thickly, the tears choking her, gripping his shirt tight. His arm slid further down her back, but he smiled at her, nodding.

"Always knew you was stubborn," he said softly.

"Jus' like a Dixon." And she broke out in sobs, unable to hold it in anymore. The _acceptance_ behind that, meant more to her than he would ever know.

"Merle, don' you leave me," Daryl sobbed, bending over them both, his body shaking.

She couldn't stop the tears from falling. Couldn't stop the sobs that shook her body. Couldn't stop the feeling that her heart was breaking.

Like she was losing someone she loved dearly, _with all of her heart_.

"I love you Merle Dixon," she whispered, kissing his chest, the sound of his heartbeat fading away.

"_Never let go_."

* * *

- _And it's breaking over me, a thousand miles down to the sea bed, found the place to rest my head.  
Never let me go._


End file.
